you don't want to be a capture bride

against a meme

imagine how awkward it would be to actually be a capture bride

let’s ignore all the obvious bad stuff that to a certain degree is already factoring into the fantasy—the lack of choice, the man’s power, never seeing your family again, etc

if you were captured by a man in your own group, you’d probably have to deal w your parents being mad at you. but i suspect, for no reason, that such marriages were usually inter-group

i bet all of the women in your man’s group would be really bitchy to you. i read recently that after wwii, american women were super salty about the gi’s who brought home warbrides. it surprised me but then it made sense. if young men are fighting, that changes the gender ratios, puts women in more of a liberal arts college dating situation, less of an engineering school dating situation.¹ but at least in midcentury america you can like, move around. in this situation you would be stuck with these women. new girl in school for the rest of your life

i mean not all the women would have grown up together, some of them would be marrying in to this group from other related groups but they would still be in a better position than you. & i guess there would be other capture brides. but you remember high school. how much good does it ever do for the rejects to band together

& you probably don’t know how things are done in this new group, how they make their cheeses & so forth, statistically you probably grew up in a farming culture & got captured by steppe nomads so a lot of your knowledge won’t translate, & you’re depending on these women who don’t like you to teach you how it’s done? i bet they would act really superior about it like “well, if you didn’t grow up making kumis, you’ll never really be good at it….it takes a lifetime”

1. this is, obviously, not saying “war is worse for women than it is for men.” but every time that i bring up the fact that when young men fight & die it changes the marriage market, people accuse me of saying that war is worse for women than it is for men. so here you go: i am explicitly not saying that