I spent my childhood in very low ratio spaces, so am more familiar with female dynamics, and definitely noticed the mate poaching attempts women engage in. (Sometimes very blatant!!)
I also noticed that the few guys who were there were fought over by the girls - I don’t even think it was really about wanting them as a partner, it was more for the status it gave the girl within the group of ‘possessing’ a guy or having his attention in this way.
Will definitely be spending more time observing the spaces I’m in now to see if the dynamics you dry above are on display!
Gender ratio is one of those topics that really fascinate me because we've all seen the obvious effects of it (e.g. go to a sausage-fest party and the guys start acting very desperate for the few women there), but we rarely seem to consider its widespread societal effects (unless we're using it to analyze other countries, like China and India). For instance, for metropolitan college-educated women, they'll have been in what you called a low-ratio environment for most of their formative adult years. First, they'll attend a college that's like 55-60% women, then they'll live in a city where straight and educated women significantly outnumber their male counterparts. So much of the online gender wars revolve around dating, and a lot of it has to do with these ratios. But a lot of people don't like talking about ratios because the topic either seems too cold or too deterministic.
I interrupt both genders, but it is often to complete their thought - frankly, in a better way than what they were stumbling towards. Sometimes they are grateful, as I supplied the exact word or concept they were driving at, and it shows I have understood. Sometimes they are insulted - and I can absolutely see that.
I also comment alongside, inserting only a phrase of agreement or affirmation as they go along, such as "...because you understood them, right..." or "...not asssisting in any way..." That seems to work with some cultures, like New York Jews, but be offensive to Californians.
I think the causal effect for the mate poaching in women has been linked to a pre-selection effect, basically the good traits in the partnered man that helped him get a partner is what also attracts other women, not because he has another woman.
Also men are very territorial, the thought of another man even coming near their partner makes them lose it, they do this even with their side-pieces.
Main thing to keep in mind in the Gender discourse is that, there are greater differences within Groups than between groups.
i don't actually have as much experience of this as you might think, bc i don't post selfies publicly, so ppl (including other women!) who don't look super carefully, tend to assume i'm a man
even so it's like a scale issue......it's everything about being a woman in high ratio spaces irl but turned up to the max
one really nice thing about online spaces though, is that, because you can basically choose from anyone in the world who's willing to have you, it's possible for more (i hate to say it) malebrained women to find the other malebrained women & create low-ratio spaces that also cater to our interests and ways of thinking, which im incredibly thankful for
Great post!
I spent my childhood in very low ratio spaces, so am more familiar with female dynamics, and definitely noticed the mate poaching attempts women engage in. (Sometimes very blatant!!)
I also noticed that the few guys who were there were fought over by the girls - I don’t even think it was really about wanting them as a partner, it was more for the status it gave the girl within the group of ‘possessing’ a guy or having his attention in this way.
Will definitely be spending more time observing the spaces I’m in now to see if the dynamics you dry above are on display!
Gender ratio is one of those topics that really fascinate me because we've all seen the obvious effects of it (e.g. go to a sausage-fest party and the guys start acting very desperate for the few women there), but we rarely seem to consider its widespread societal effects (unless we're using it to analyze other countries, like China and India). For instance, for metropolitan college-educated women, they'll have been in what you called a low-ratio environment for most of their formative adult years. First, they'll attend a college that's like 55-60% women, then they'll live in a city where straight and educated women significantly outnumber their male counterparts. So much of the online gender wars revolve around dating, and a lot of it has to do with these ratios. But a lot of people don't like talking about ratios because the topic either seems too cold or too deterministic.
This is an orthogonal thought that’s a bit convoluted:
I tend to be friends with a lot of women
But the women I tend to be friends with interrupt me like CRAZY
Like I feel like I can never finish a thought
but
I think I’m only even cognizant of this because I’ve been friends with women who talk about how much men interrupt women
Classic projection on their part
Thanks for writing on this kind of subject. Please keep it coming. Your discourse adds.
Last paragraph is a banger
I interrupt both genders, but it is often to complete their thought - frankly, in a better way than what they were stumbling towards. Sometimes they are grateful, as I supplied the exact word or concept they were driving at, and it shows I have understood. Sometimes they are insulted - and I can absolutely see that.
I also comment alongside, inserting only a phrase of agreement or affirmation as they go along, such as "...because you understood them, right..." or "...not asssisting in any way..." That seems to work with some cultures, like New York Jews, but be offensive to Californians.
good post!
I think the causal effect for the mate poaching in women has been linked to a pre-selection effect, basically the good traits in the partnered man that helped him get a partner is what also attracts other women, not because he has another woman.
Also men are very territorial, the thought of another man even coming near their partner makes them lose it, they do this even with their side-pieces.
Main thing to keep in mind in the Gender discourse is that, there are greater differences within Groups than between groups.
this is a VERY interesting question
i don't actually have as much experience of this as you might think, bc i don't post selfies publicly, so ppl (including other women!) who don't look super carefully, tend to assume i'm a man
even so it's like a scale issue......it's everything about being a woman in high ratio spaces irl but turned up to the max
one really nice thing about online spaces though, is that, because you can basically choose from anyone in the world who's willing to have you, it's possible for more (i hate to say it) malebrained women to find the other malebrained women & create low-ratio spaces that also cater to our interests and ways of thinking, which im incredibly thankful for
they gotta be private to stay low ratio