If the Gale-Shapley algorithm is asker optimal, why don’t women ask men out? Are women just stupid? Lazy? Cowardly? Conformist? Unagentic? Or is the real world less asker-optimal for women?
The piece is great. I've always been suspicious of the Gale-Shapely algorithm's implications and I appreciate your thoughtful and thorough criticism of it. The point about low information gained by women from asking men out is especially valuable.
Also, the whole thing is great but I especially appreciate the capital letters exhorting people to move. You're top dead center. People ought to move way more aggressively for lots of reasons but especially that.
I get the sense, from some of the other capital letters, that dating has been hard at times. I'm right there with you. It's tough out there and I don't miss it.
Great piece! And refreshing to read an article about dating that doesn't mention apps. I'm in my 50s with two adult kids, but am fascinated by the modern dating system as it seems so different from my own in late 80s/early 90s UK. In my circles at that time it was simply against the rules to ask a man out on an actual romantic date (I had plenty of male friends I just hung out with) - if you did it would come across as either desperate, slutty or aggressive. So it's good to see that now it's considered an option, even one with risks. FWIW moving to a new city and socialising a lot worked for me though...
I guess "Contra Cotra" was too on the nose?
The piece is great. I've always been suspicious of the Gale-Shapely algorithm's implications and I appreciate your thoughtful and thorough criticism of it. The point about low information gained by women from asking men out is especially valuable.
Also, the whole thing is great but I especially appreciate the capital letters exhorting people to move. You're top dead center. People ought to move way more aggressively for lots of reasons but especially that.
I get the sense, from some of the other capital letters, that dating has been hard at times. I'm right there with you. It's tough out there and I don't miss it.
You don't have to ask me out. You just have to say yes a bunch of times up to and including when I ask you to marry me.
Great piece! And refreshing to read an article about dating that doesn't mention apps. I'm in my 50s with two adult kids, but am fascinated by the modern dating system as it seems so different from my own in late 80s/early 90s UK. In my circles at that time it was simply against the rules to ask a man out on an actual romantic date (I had plenty of male friends I just hung out with) - if you did it would come across as either desperate, slutty or aggressive. So it's good to see that now it's considered an option, even one with risks. FWIW moving to a new city and socialising a lot worked for me though...
Banger
Thanks, I love this.