"Best Of" Post
Thanks for two years!
It’s the second anniversary of this substack! To celebrate, I am going to link to some old posts that I (and some of y’all—thank you in particular for taking the time to answer my survey) especially like/recommend.
Poetry
Stories
bellflower
once upon a time there was a girl in a tower & regardless of how she came to be up there, she did not want to leave. though she was very curious about the world outside, she did not even want to show her face at the window. often she would peek out of one side or the other, or hesitantly stick her hand out to fe…
the castle in the maze, part i
continued in part ii & part iii when the first child she gave him was a daughter, the king brushed away the queen’s apologies: it would be foolish not to be as prepared for a coin to come up heads as tails, and so by the custom of the kingdom (which of course the queen had not been raised under) this eldest girl would faute de mieux be reared to rule, un…
ash wednesday
to repent for the overindulgence of the night before she had the idea of heading to the health-conscious white-walled brunch place. her younger brother, the only other person up yet in their airbnb, was a good sport & agreed to come with her. when they arrived, on the early side, it was already crowded with other penitents.
high school sweethearts
he was the only child of two atheist lawyers. she was the eldest daughter of a large catholic family. they competed academically; his standardized test scores edged hers out; she had the advantage when it came to gpa. he was a “why?” autist & she was a rules autist. he badgered the principal about petty inconsistencies & …
Essays
how and why to be ladylike (for women with autism)
i feel a little embarrassed writing this bc i think people are going to judge my behavior more after i post it. as well they should honestly. also, you should not listen to me, i have no authority. but please, have mercy on me a sinner, if i were naturally good at this i wouldn't be able to talk about it explicitly. also also there is no way to express …
Hyperstimuli are Understimulating
There’s a phrase I keep seeing around—I think it originally comes from addiction theory?—of “wanting versus liking.” I find it more helpful, when thinking about it to myself, to phrase it as craving versus liking, because “wanting” seems more conscious/chosen/considered to me. Basically, the idea is that how much you want something does not necessarily …
loved all of these
I'm not even sure I'm exaggerating but how and why to be ladylike might be one of the most important cultural explainers that I've ever read just generally. I'm half in the process of half-trying to write some kind of commentary on it but it's a very hard-early draft, partly to add some of my own perspective and partly to wonder if "attention hijacking => get mad to reassert control" is something that more broadly generalizes.