shorties

some of these could have been tweets

a girl is ragging on her ex, complaining about how he treated her. her brother¹ joins in by saying the ex’s job is lame. he’s surprised when his sister does not appreciate her ex being taken down a peg in quite this way, when she starts saying actually the job the job is a good job.

*

a short math problem: two women are walking to the back of the long line at the coffeeshop. one is wearing a short skirt, pigtails, egirl makeup; the other is in a plain black hijab, plain loose black dress. what is the minimum points differential between them that would cause every man they pass to slide his gaze involuntarily over the second woman, ignoring the first, as i watch from the other side of the room sipping my pourover?

*

although she is desperate for love, she makes a very careful habit of sabotaging every relationship in advance, so that when it ends, she has a premade concrete explanation, “this is why it didn’t work,” to keep her mind from wandering towards the idea that there is something deeply wrong with her. by avoiding this self examination, she does not notice over time how every hurtful act twists her more than she was twisted & makes her fear more true.

*

he wants her. he hates her. he thinks that the reason for his hate is his suspicion that what satisfies her is precisely his unsatisfied wanting. is there, maybe, behind that suspicion, a wish? that wanting her is all he has to do to satisfy her? that he does not have to do anything that demands more of him than wanting does?

*

again at the coffeeshop, eavesdropping on an ambiguous conversation. elements of the date (they’re talking about his job, about his passions, about relationships—but their body language is as if they’re actively avoiding flirting), the job interview (it’s so one way, her questions, his answers, & so structured, she clearly has a list—but the questions are so personal!), & even a meeting between siblings (it’s as if they’re invested in each other—but they don’t really seem to know each other?). the man, facing this way, is tall, with bachelorette-contestant physiognomy. the woman, seen from behind, can be judged only by her smooth hair and her liberty print dress (which is itself incredibly ambiguous: the midi length & sober navy of its background color on the one hand; on the other hand, the fertility of its millefleur pattern).

she asks him how he met his most recent date & he tells her about hitting up a girl at the park & spontaneously taking her to the zoo. but then they weren’t compatible for a relationship.

she asks him what he’s passionate about & he responds with an increasingly american-psycho-esque speech, which starts off with interests that suggest a specific individual with a real personality, but ends with “i’m passionate about art, i’m passionate about justice, i’m passionate about making the world a better place.”

she asks him if he’s religious & he says greek orthodox, “i’m kind of out of the habit but the tradition is important to me, i go to church on holidays.”

as the conversation ends & they both get up, it becomes clear that she is a hired matchmaker. so much for my big fat greek wedding. why should a greek orthodox man need to go to a matchmaker who has to ask his religion? he’s supposed to be desperately individuating from an overbearing mother, not paying a stranger to be his overbearing mother.

as they’re heading out the door, he mentions how much harder online dating is for men. “no,” she says firmly, “it’s harder for women.” good luck, brother.

i never quite get a look at her left hand.

1. i mention this only to make sure you’re not wondering about his motivations